Usually

I don't mention emotional mishaps when I blog, but today I feel inspired to fill you all in on last night's miserable farewell dinner.

As many of you know, last night I had my farewell dinner with work colleagues. They all complained about the ridiculously expensive menu, and how they would not frequent the restaurant in the future. How rude I thought, but, alas the complaints proved to be the least of my worries that evening.

Seating was most unfortunate. In front of me sat the 'big boss': quite hilarious; great at putting people in uncomfortable situations solely for the purpose of comedy value. To the left of me sat the ruthless, back-stabbing team leader (assist. manager in the West). Hated by all. To my right was my nemesis. A vindictive man who suffers from short man syndrome. He never sits next to me. In fact, he often does not attend events I attend. Yes, he really does dislike me that much. With him being sat so close, I knew something was brewing, and that this brew would ruin my dinner. Indeed, I was not wrong.

As it transpired, my nemesis was made to apologise for his treatment toward me on the basis of chaemyun (saving MY face). This proved virtually impossible for him. As I watched him squirm in his seat, and proclaim: 'This is awkward', I felt sad. Sad at his discomfort, and sad that he resents me to the point of causing the discomfort.

To relieve some of his agony, I felt the need to save his face by apologising first. (I am his female subordinate after all.) As I began to speak, the room fell deathly silent. Jaws were agape. Certain that my colleagues assumed I was going to hurl abuse at him, I immediately stated, 'I would like to apologise first for any offense I've caused...'. As Mr B reluctantly accepted my apology (for the offense I am certain I did NOT cause), he promptly turned to me and tersely retorted, 'It is nothing personal. I do not hate you. I simply hate the way the average Korean treats Westerners'. Some embarrassed giggles from other colleagues followed.

Things couldn't get worse, was my thinking. My dinner by this point was already ruined and I hadn't even yet had one bite. But yes, yes they did...

As Korean chaebol customs go, when a person leaves the company the colleagues are invited to say a few kind words followed by a toast. Most of the colleagues I have worked with over the past two years have moved departments or left the company, so the comments were ultimately coming from strangers.

One colleague told me he had been ashamed of his writing ability because I had trashed a few of his papers, but wished me well regardless (that made everything better - NOT). The one who invited me on the 'secret' date declined. Thankfully. And the others were half-hearted. The only one who would have said nice words, was the secretary and she spoke in bloody Korean!! I got the gist of it, and she did say nice things, happily.

On a lighter note, they did present me with a lovely plaque as a token of appreciation. Fortunatley, I didn't dare tell them that they should have let me proof-read the inscription before presenting me with it...