Saying farewell to 2009

This morning, as I walked to work alongside the stream outside my apartment, I meandered through the naked trees aligning the streets. The crisp winter morning and the serenity of neighbourhood confirmed to me that Korea truly is 'The Land of the Morning Calm.' That short stretch of parkland provides me with great solitude in the mornings; some time to get lost among my thoughts.

On contemplating that I will soon be bidding a bitter-sweet farewell to 2009 and my Korea experience, I was overcome briefly with a surprising sense of malaise. Perhaps it was the apprehension of the uncertainty that lies ahead. Most likely, I was awashed by these feelings because despite everything, Korea has become my much-loved home.

I came to Korea in November 2007, when I was 24. I had never lived away from my home - not even for university. I'm from a small rural community near the Yorkshire Dales, and everyone knows each other; although that can be very comforting, it can also be very stifling. I didn't know who I was, or what I really wanted out of life. All I wanted was to make other people happy, and in doing so I was slowly becoming deeply unhappy. I knew that I needed to spread my wings.

When I boarded the plane bound for Seoul in Manchester, I felt numb. I wasn't excited, I wasn't anxious; I honestly didn't know how to feel or what to expect. I regret not having started a blog when I arrived because I would have had some fantastically hilarious entries on here by now.

When I look back over the past two years however, I can't help but smile with gratitude. I feel I have grown so much; in ways I could never have imagined. I have had some extreme lows, as many of you will know. I have also had some exhilarating highs. In many ways, my life in Korea has been a lot like a crazy roller coaster ride. But despite the upheavals, the heartache, the laughs, and the tears...I am grateful for being able to take the ride!