New Year's Limerick

So the New Year is pretty much here!
I'll be welcoming it in with great cheer...
At a street party in Seoul
Not being crushed is my goal
As is avoiding being drenched by spilt beer!!!


새해 복 많이 보내새요

HAPPY CHRISTMAS FROM SEOUL!!!

This is my last Christmas in Seoul. I am, admittedly, going to be spending it a bit differently from how I imagined I would a bit earlier in the year. I am no longer married. Nevertheless, I am happy to be single, and thrilled to be spending the holiday season with great friends - rather than a fat twat!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

The BEST countryside sign EVER!

Apparently, death by stoning is perfectly acceptable in Teesdale, England. I've made a mental note of this fact, and I will be refraining from making any detours in that area in the future lol.

What's cooking, Good Looking??

The well-loved Korean kimchi jjigae

Ok, so I currently live with a pretty big Korean family: the parents, the son (10), the aunt and the great-aunt (both on the mother's side). Things can get pretty interesting I tell you - especially in the mornings when we're all getting ready to leave the house - talk about STRESSUH. However, I think the most interesting thing about it all is the food Halmony (the great-aunt) cooks me.

Halmony doesn't like cooking for me because it's extra work, and frankly, she says she can't be bothered. The old lady can be a bit cranky, and lately she's been cooking me kimchi jjigae (pickled cabbage stew) and bap (rice) every- well everyday this week, as it happens.

Last night, while walking home, I was desperately willing there to be something other than the good old jjigae waiting for me as I walked through the door. I don't mind the stuff at all; at one point it was my favourite Korean dish, but I am slightly worried that all this pickled food may give me gastric cancer, or... too much gas at least.

As I sat down at the table to eat dinner, I was disappointed to see the dreaded dish yet again, but my disappointment quickly faded as my attention was drawn to something on a plate nearby. Some new food, I thought...At last, some variety!! My excitement quickly turned to bewilderment, as I tried to figure out what this new side dish was.

EUREKA! After a few moments of prodding the food with my chop-sticks, I realised that the dish was none other than a sorry-looking, limp, and BATTERED (as in fish and chips) lettuce leaf! Oh my, how versatile the iceberg lettuce really is. Over the years, I have witnessed the crisp and juicy leaves being used for more than just my mum's prawn cocktail. When thinking of the vegetable that is close to the hearts of many Western housewives, one fond memory often springs to mind.

In my teens I had a good friend, Liz whose parents are from Hong Kong. Liz had a big thing for Ramen noodles, and so did I, so whenever I visited her house, which was a few streets from my family home, she would pull a few packs of noodles out of the cupboard. She would then pull out two bowls for each of us, and a head of lettuce. What ensued always left me dumbfounded. She would line the bowl with lettuce leaves (like a lettuce bowl I guess) and then pour the noodles and some water into the bowl. This left the lettuce soggy and pretty disgusting.

When I saw the limp and frail-looking leaves peering at me from the table last night, I had a flashback of Liz's soggy-lettuce-bowls. Needless to say, I wasn't overly excited to taste the new dish. I was, however, surprised to find that I loved the old lady's fried lettuce...and it's a good job coz I had the same meal again tonight:(

Winter is finally here...

Here's to my last winter in Korea. Here's to leaving the sub-zero temperatures and the bitter Siberian winds I never will acclimatise to. Here's to having to brace just one more season of long, hostile winter chill. Finally, here's to being born British. As I sit at my desk, watching the snow fall, I thank God that I am not one of the millions of North Koreans who will perish this winter without the luxuries I all too often take for granted. I pray that one day soon they will be free, and can't help but think: There but for the grace of God, go I.

Team Jacob...I run with wolves. Woof!

Last night I went to see New Moon with my two cute American/Korean friends in MyeongDong, Seoul. I was really excited because I LOVED the first Twilight movie and wanted to see more of Ed Cullen. I expect there will be the rolling of eyes by some reading this post. OK, sure it's a teen flick. And yep, it's a painfully cheesy vampire love story also. But the guys in it are seriously HOT - young as they may be.

When I saw the first Twi movie with my brother and a friend last year, I became a big fan of it - much to the dismay of the guys - who thought it was utter tosh. More to the point, I had become a HUGE fan of the actors in the movie.

I was partciularly mesmerised by the chiseled jawline, and hallowed cheeks of Robert Pattinson who plays the main vampire, Edward. He had the whole Edwardian Dandy look going on, and I was somewhat besotted. It goes without saying that I expected this year's movie to reignite the burning flame within. I was after all, TEAM EDWARD all the way!

My word, how vacillating I can be. I don't know how it happened, but it seems that little Jacob Black: Edward's rival, had grown into quite the man over the past few months. And my, what a bod. To be frank, I feel plain wrong admiring the beauty of 17-year old Taylor Lautner ...but man, that kid is ripped. He must have been at the steroids, surely?

Sadly, Ed's body left much to be desired. Sure he plays a vampire, and vampires are meant to be gaunt, pasty creatures of the undead. But c'mon Robert, you could have toned up a little for the movie, no? I mean, it mustn't feel too great being sidelined by a teenager who first graced the big screen donning the most outrageously ridiculous wig EVER. Have to say: I'm so thrilled the wig and Jacob parted ways.

So for now, it would seem that I have defected to the other side, that is: TEAM JACOB. Mr Black may be a little kid, but it would appear that there is one hell of a beast waiting to be unleashed. Grrrr...

*This post is dedicated to Dee - she REALLY loved the movie*

Yeongjong Island

On Saturday my friend R and I took a trip out to see our friend B on the island of Yeongjong near Incheon airport. Because there are many swallows on the island, it was also know as Jayeondo ''Swallow'' Island in the past. We had worried that the weather would be cold and possibly wet. Fortunately, it was a gorgeous day. A tad chilly, but it is winter, right?

Yeongjong Island is certainly no tropical getaway. I would be even pushed to say it has the appeal of any of the islands surrounding GB (with the exception of The Principality of Sealand). It does have its hidden gems though, and B's spectacular island tour was a lot of fun!!

Here are some photos (courtesy of R). Enjoy!

This photo was taken at Youngguksa Temple on the island. The zelkova tree is apparently 1,400 years old, and is supprted by scaffolding. I love zelkova trees; there are a lot of them in Korea. Random fact: the zelcova serrata tree is native to East Asia and is used a lot in bonsai.

If you look closely you can see a little Buddha in the hallow of the tree. When we arrived at the temple, a lady was praying in front of the shrine. I always like visiting Buddhist temples; they are so calming.

This is a popular Standing Buddha 'blessing' pose: pose of dispelling fear. OK, I'm a bit geeky when it comes to these things. I have been to Buddha's birthplace in Nepal, and I learnt that each pose represents a teaching or blessing. Specifically, the mudra (hand positions) represent a teaching, or wisdom of Buddha; each mudra corresponds to an important moment in Buddha's life. This hand gesture is the abhaya mudra.

This is a nice picture of inside one of the temples. The lotus lanterns with the prayers written on the dangling papers are hanging from the ceiling...you can just about see them.

Another nice picture of inside the temple.

Above: R and I at Ulwangli Beach. I have got to stop doing the peace sign on photos...

Left: B the Sherpa

Right: Some rocks...

Saying farewell to 2009

This morning, as I walked to work alongside the stream outside my apartment, I meandered through the naked trees aligning the streets. The crisp winter morning and the serenity of neighbourhood confirmed to me that Korea truly is 'The Land of the Morning Calm.' That short stretch of parkland provides me with great solitude in the mornings; some time to get lost among my thoughts.

On contemplating that I will soon be bidding a bitter-sweet farewell to 2009 and my Korea experience, I was overcome briefly with a surprising sense of malaise. Perhaps it was the apprehension of the uncertainty that lies ahead. Most likely, I was awashed by these feelings because despite everything, Korea has become my much-loved home.

I came to Korea in November 2007, when I was 24. I had never lived away from my home - not even for university. I'm from a small rural community near the Yorkshire Dales, and everyone knows each other; although that can be very comforting, it can also be very stifling. I didn't know who I was, or what I really wanted out of life. All I wanted was to make other people happy, and in doing so I was slowly becoming deeply unhappy. I knew that I needed to spread my wings.

When I boarded the plane bound for Seoul in Manchester, I felt numb. I wasn't excited, I wasn't anxious; I honestly didn't know how to feel or what to expect. I regret not having started a blog when I arrived because I would have had some fantastically hilarious entries on here by now.

When I look back over the past two years however, I can't help but smile with gratitude. I feel I have grown so much; in ways I could never have imagined. I have had some extreme lows, as many of you will know. I have also had some exhilarating highs. In many ways, my life in Korea has been a lot like a crazy roller coaster ride. But despite the upheavals, the heartache, the laughs, and the tears...I am grateful for being able to take the ride!

KILLA KITTY!!!

When I was about 10 I had a pretty miserable experience with a friend's cat. This particular cat was pure evil - the spawn of Satan if you like. He would prowl around the house slyly like he was casing the joint, looking for his next victim. Unwittingly, one Saturday I was to became this vile creature's next victim, and I have still got the scratch scars as an unfortunate reminder.

To this day, I have an unceasing feud with the feline species. I feel like cats always try to conspire against me. Everything about them makes me distrust them: their sharp claws, their fangs, their snake-like eyes...their utter disloyalty. In short, I am definitely more of a dog person. Dogs may be relatively dumb animals, but at least you know they won't oust you from your own house!!

Yesterday reaffirmed, and undoubtedly reinforced my undiminished hatred of cats. My cool friend Prof. H invited K, R and I to her place for dinner. Overall, the afternoon was lovely...almost perfect, but, alas, the presence of her psychotic kitty put a bit of a dampener on it all for me. I'm am convinced cats are drawn to me, or at least sense my sheer terror that they love to play on.

For most of the evening, Killa Kitty was put in another room where I am sure, he sat plotting his revenge. KK may be young and seemingly cute, but stupid he is not. Unbeknown to us, H's little kitty used the clever ploy of behaving like a dog to lure us all into a false sense of security...only later to unleash terror and chaos on us all.

First he went for H. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Then he went for ME! Yep. The inevitable happened. I showed fear and he pounced...luckily I was spared of his claws. By this point I must have been grey. Pearls of sweat forming on my brow. Unsure of whether the palpitations I was experiencing would eventually lead to a heart attack.

Thankfully, K quipped: 'Oooh, I want kitty to attack me' and we subsequently swapped places. I barricaded myself behind a blanket H gave me - ensuring I was fully covered, for I was not willing to add to my war wounds. And then it happened. Killa Kitty turned demonic. With an arched back and his fur standing on end, Killa Kitty was ready to KILL...K as it happened bore the brunt of the frenzied attacks, then he moved on to H, followed by R...before sniffing out poor whimpering me from under my cover. The cat was on a rampage and was ready to engage in a battle with any unfortunate in his path. He was taking no prisoners it would seem.

Luckily, I managed to escape H's home unscathed, well, at least physically. I love H and she has the coolest home and I would love to visit again before I leave Korea. I don't know if I dare tempt fate though. Cats may have nine lives, but I only have the one...and I am actually quite fond of it:)

Happy Pepero Day Korea (for yday)!!

I am dedicating this blog to Mr Kwon: the (former North Korean) librarian who gives me Pepero sticks every year on 11/11...and also asks me to dinner - often. Unfortunately, I decline; him pushing 60 and all! Happy Pepero Day Mr Kwon - SORRY MY KOREAN SUCKS AND WE CAN'T HAVE BETTER CONVOS:(

Halloween

OMG! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! I'm maybe too old for it now, but it always brings the kid out in me. Lame as it may sound: I think this year's Halloween may have been my best to date...thanks to the US Embassy's Haunted House...here are some pics:)

Samcheok shenanigans

Last weekend my friend K and I decided to take a trip to Samcheok: a little town on Korea's BEAUTIFUL east coast. Having decided to wing it, I don't think either of us new quite what to expect. We weren't disappointed however! The trip was unforgettable, on oh, so many levels...

Leaving on the Friday evening, we both jumped on the express bus from Seoul and sat crammed on the back seats for the four-hour arduous journey to the coast. On alighting from the bus, we hurriedly looked for a taxi to take us to the motel. We found one, jumped in and directed the driver: 'Moon Motel kajuseyo.' The driver looked perplexed. Mumbling in Korean and gesticulating that we were talking nothing but jibberish, he pointed to the door. Luckily, a lovely ajuma saved the day and directed the driver to our motel. Hurrah for nice randomers!!

On Saturday we rose early, left the hotel and looked for a place to eat breakfast. It was too early. We forgot in our anticipation that this is Korea...the land that doesn't get out of bed until 10am. So, grabbing some snacks, we looked for the bus to Hwanseon Cave, one of the biggest limestone caves in Asia. And they weren't kidding. This thing is a BEAST!

The ride through the countryside to the cave alone is spectacular. The leaves are turning, and the pine trees lining the mountains make the scenery unforgettable; the east coast really is a little bit of Korean heaven. The trek to the cave is nightmarishly steep, but the views make it well worth it. I was in awe. But I was soon to be blown away even more by the magically eery underworld that is, Hwaseon Cave.

Hwanseongul is enormous. Indeed, it could be home to a small town, and maybe once was -in ye olden times! The cave has many chambers, and the chasms between them are linked by tunnel-of-love type bridges lit up by neons. So many cave formations can be seen, and the 'moonscape' terrain of the cave is purely cool. I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT PLACE. Sadly though, I didn't see a bat:(

Leaving the cave, we realised it was raining, pretty bad. But did it dishearten us. Nay, did it heck as like? We were off to our next adventure: Haesindang, also affectionately known as 'Penis Park'. I kid you not. In short, a young virgin drowned in the sea years ago and to appease her, the locals (fishermen who weren't getting a good catch presumably because the girl's ghost was ticked) started erecting (pun not intended) penis sculptures around the coastline. Today, the park is home to hundred of penis-shaped totems. Genius.

This place is truly one of a kind. This is most definitely a good thing. K and I turned all shades of red while watching the oldies 'dick about' (that pun was intended, and in the UK it is not offensive to use that term). There is only so much you can take of that place and the hormonal men in it, even though it is highly amusing.

Having felt we had, had enough of PP, K and I ventured down to the beach. Unfortunately, it was a pebble beach, but the sea was crystal clear and so refreshing. The rugged cliffs and islets are so pretty and that was a perfect end to the day, or it would have been if we hadn't have been offended by a hypocritical jerk entering the park as we were leaving...

10 things I hate about you, Korea

1. Lego hair: Koreans love immaculate, well-quaffed hair and will spend copious amounts of mula on maintaining their luscious tresses. Worryingly, we foreigners could be forgiven for mistaking their lacquered hair for a wig. Indeed, ‘clip-on’ Lego hair has never been a cool look.

2. 80s fashion: Being a child of the 80s, I have paid homage to 80s revival over the years, and my friends and I often dreamt of a 80s comeback. Dream no more. The comeback has arrived – in Korea, at least. Only this is not what I dreamt! Naff Converse boots, tacky mini-skirts, and that bleached denim. Yes, Korean chicas do love fantastic leg-warmers and stilettos, but come on guys…you’re forgetting the best asset of the 80s wardrobe. The shell suit. Oh shell suits, how I miss you…

3. Man bags: Fellas, there is NOTHING metrosexual about looking camp. FULL STOP.

4. Silkworm pupae: A popular snack? I think not.

5. Flemming on the ground: Not only is it vile. It is also a serious health and safety hazard. Use a tissue or simply, swallow it.

6. Konglish: Comedy value aside. I wouldn’t be seen dead having a hot choc in ‘Starbutts’.

7. Korean covers of Western Pop songs: The songs were rubbish the first time around. Enough said.

8. Gingko fruit: One word – VOMIT.

9. High-maintenance fashion: Going to the supermarket dressed in your Sunday-best? Korean casual wear gives a whole new meaning to the phrase: ‘all dressed up and no place to go.'

10. The lack of rubbish bins: I honestly don't know how Seoul manages to keep so clean with so few bins around the city. Quite remarkable really.

Maybe it's just me...

...but I get the distinct feeling that Korean teenage girls have been watching too much Daria.

Get thee hence, ragamuffins!

Every lunch, I like to wander down to the really cool Cheonggyecheon Stream, in the City Hall area of Seoul. This area, I suppose, is Seoul’s Canary Wharf and I LOVE IT! Well, I would if it wasn’t for all the crazies who frequently accost me. I know I sound harsh in saying this, but I really wish they wouldn’t touch me!!

Last winter, I was sat enjoying my lunch by the stream when all of a sudden, a homeless man who was eating a pastry of sorts, grabbed me, yelled in my face - spitting crumbs at me, and consequently almost pushed me in the stream. As I scrambled up to leg it, he started laughing really creepily. There have been a handful of other instances since - which brings me to today’s encounter.

I was just thinking the other day, how I haven’t had any problems out and about in the city as of late. Apparently, I spoke too soon. I think today’s experience may have scarred me for life – seriously. I was cheerfully minding my own business when out of nowhere…NOWHERE, a smelly tramp man flew into my path, holding a dog that looked to be dead. I tried to move to the left, then to the right just to be free of him, and the poor thing in his arms that I thought he might throw at me. My efforts were to no avail. The guy pretty much cornered me. He screamed. I screamed (ish). And no one intervened. I was pretty much screwed. Thank heavens for 7-Elevens, and BOOO all you smelly ragamuffins: PLEASE, JUST LET ME BE!

A Korean Love Affair

So, after wanting to do a blog since I arrived in this kimchi-loving country, I finally feel it's the perfect time to do so, as I only have five months left! Also, I figured after two years of Korean drama, and I mean D.R.A.M.A - two jobs, six homes, several boyfriends (no, I'm not easy), a marriage, and a divorce *sigh* - I have a few things to blog about.

Many of you who know me, probably have gathered that I have a penchant for jumping into things with little thought and blind optimism. Many would probably call me stupid; many have. I, on the other hand, prefer to think of myself as an intrepid, free-spirit, who loves life and wants to get the most out of it. Most importantly, I try not to take myself too seriously, and find that I have a child-like tendency to see the funny side of well, pretty much everything!

Although today, I am not seeing the funny side of being back at work with a bunch of disgruntled, middle-aged, Korean men. I have worked in this office for over 20 months and have yet to adjust to chaebol etiquette. My colleagues gave up on me as soon as they realised the office newbie was a mere slip of a lass, who speaks little Korean, and doesn't drink.

You see in Korea, drinking is absolutely imperative if you wish to attain social success, and I often happen upon many a happily-sloshed businessman, staggering aimlessly around Seoul at 4pm in the afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Brit and as many will know - us Brits drink like fish; the women can easily drink the men under the table. Having said that, I do find it sad that soju - an alcholic drink cheaper than milk, that smells uncannily like paint stripper - is the national beverage of such a fantastic country. Surely there is more to corporate Korea than soju, skinny cigs and STERESSUH!

Anyway, mooooooving on. We just had Chuseok. Now, Chuseok is a lovely Korean harvest-type festival whereby a mass exodus of families leave Seoul, venturing to ancestral homes to perform ancestral worship and partake in huge feasts. At present, I am living with a really nice Korean family, but it is TOUGH being in someone's space - especially when that 'someone' is not family or friends. It kinda goes without saying, that I enjoyed the freedom at the weekend. Although I missed Granny Grills - the old lady housekeeper, who has gold teef and treats me like a mute because my Korean SUCKS! I hope she's back tonight...