A fond farewell to blogging...for now at least

It finally arrived. My last day in Korea. Some 2.5 years in Korea is a long time and I shall miss my beloved Korean experience. I am, however, ready to move forward to new adventures awaiting in greener, more pleasant smelling pastures on the rainy little island I regard as my real home. Happily, I am excited to be moving back to the UK tomorrow. Nervous, yes - a little, but mostly excited.

This blog was the fulfillment of a mere desire to blog about life in Korea. I truly wish I had started this blog when I first arrived. Oh well. I guess this will be my last entry as I am not much of an avid blogger, so I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my lovely friends for reading my blog...but more importantly, for affecting my life the way you do. I love you guys. All the best and enjoy wherever your life takes you and MOST IMPORTANTLY keep in touch via Facebook lolxxx

Today is my last day at work and I am...

...elated!!!!!

Usually

I don't mention emotional mishaps when I blog, but today I feel inspired to fill you all in on last night's miserable farewell dinner.

As many of you know, last night I had my farewell dinner with work colleagues. They all complained about the ridiculously expensive menu, and how they would not frequent the restaurant in the future. How rude I thought, but, alas the complaints proved to be the least of my worries that evening.

Seating was most unfortunate. In front of me sat the 'big boss': quite hilarious; great at putting people in uncomfortable situations solely for the purpose of comedy value. To the left of me sat the ruthless, back-stabbing team leader (assist. manager in the West). Hated by all. To my right was my nemesis. A vindictive man who suffers from short man syndrome. He never sits next to me. In fact, he often does not attend events I attend. Yes, he really does dislike me that much. With him being sat so close, I knew something was brewing, and that this brew would ruin my dinner. Indeed, I was not wrong.

As it transpired, my nemesis was made to apologise for his treatment toward me on the basis of chaemyun (saving MY face). This proved virtually impossible for him. As I watched him squirm in his seat, and proclaim: 'This is awkward', I felt sad. Sad at his discomfort, and sad that he resents me to the point of causing the discomfort.

To relieve some of his agony, I felt the need to save his face by apologising first. (I am his female subordinate after all.) As I began to speak, the room fell deathly silent. Jaws were agape. Certain that my colleagues assumed I was going to hurl abuse at him, I immediately stated, 'I would like to apologise first for any offense I've caused...'. As Mr B reluctantly accepted my apology (for the offense I am certain I did NOT cause), he promptly turned to me and tersely retorted, 'It is nothing personal. I do not hate you. I simply hate the way the average Korean treats Westerners'. Some embarrassed giggles from other colleagues followed.

Things couldn't get worse, was my thinking. My dinner by this point was already ruined and I hadn't even yet had one bite. But yes, yes they did...

As Korean chaebol customs go, when a person leaves the company the colleagues are invited to say a few kind words followed by a toast. Most of the colleagues I have worked with over the past two years have moved departments or left the company, so the comments were ultimately coming from strangers.

One colleague told me he had been ashamed of his writing ability because I had trashed a few of his papers, but wished me well regardless (that made everything better - NOT). The one who invited me on the 'secret' date declined. Thankfully. And the others were half-hearted. The only one who would have said nice words, was the secretary and she spoke in bloody Korean!! I got the gist of it, and she did say nice things, happily.

On a lighter note, they did present me with a lovely plaque as a token of appreciation. Fortunatley, I didn't dare tell them that they should have let me proof-read the inscription before presenting me with it...

Reasons to be Cheerful...

I am having an incredible day of contentness because:

1. Today is the first day of my last week as the only (lonely) Westerner at NACF
2. Tonight I have my leaving (Thai) dinner at one of my fave restaurants in Seoul
3. I have less than two weeks left teaching ADD Child (the daily accostments will soon be no more)
4. I have only one more weekend left to live it up in Seoul
5. Next week I will shop (as much as budget allows), relax, sleep and spend some last min quality time with friends
6. This Fri I will be chilling in a spa at the W Hotel
7. I've done all (and more) than I set out to accomplish in Korea
8. I've made great friends
9. I've finally conquered the Asian continent...S.America and Africa next
10. My life is pretty awesome

Ian Dury & The Blockheads really would be proud of my Reasons to be Cheerful:)

Kicked to the curb...

I've never been a fan of Murphy's law: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". I always regarded Murphy as a pessimist, and more to the point: Who the hell is Murphy anyway? As I get older however, I have to hand it to Mr Murphy- he may have a point with things going wrong - especially at the last minute.

After two years of working for a Korean bank, I have recently been counting my lucky stars for not being sexually harassed too much. Specifically, I have been relishing the fact that I have been tactful enough not to step on any of my colleagues' toes when letting them know that being MBA (Married But Available) is of no interest to me whatsoever. They seemed to get it - even respect it.

So with less than two weeks to go until I jump this corporate ship, I have started to relax. I have become more communicative, and have even begun to joke with my colleagues; I figured I will surely, no longer be perceived as a Western 'good time girl'. WRONG. Oh my, how wrong could I have been???

Yesterday, as I was leaving the office for the day I got approached by the new investment banker in the Dept. He asked me to dinner last week and I agreed as I was under the impression others would join us. WRONG AGAIN. He informed me to 'not tell anyone, as it was just us going'. Just US...as in a DATE??? The guy may be MBA but I am NFW going on a date with a family man - even if he does have dapper sense of fashion.

The dinner invitation put me in a bit of a predicament. Would I: a) go for dinner and let him down gently by telling him I'm a lesbian, or b) confront things head on by telling him that he's waaaaaaaaaaay out of order. It took me a while to figure out what I'd do. After all, this is Korea - where paternalistic management prevails, and chaemyoun (saving face) is EVERYTHING. That being said, I am not Korean, and I don't give a damn about chaemyoun. Korea is a highly Confucian society, and the Confucian Golden Rule is: ''Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I would be devastated if my man was having dinner with other women, so I had no option but to decline.

I wrote a note to him as I do not have his email, and didn't dare approach him in person. It read:

''Thank you for the dinner invitation. Unfortunately, I must decline as I do not think it appropriate for us to go to dinner alone''.

He replied (in note form):

''Ruth, There seems to be some kind of misunderstanding. But I fully understand why you're thinking like that. I admit my behaviour can be misleading to you. Anyhow, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. Have a good one!''

**Since we exchanged notes, we have avoided all forms of communication and unnecessary eye contact. I expect that this will continue until I leave next week.

So there you have it ladies. Korean men are more temperamental than the female form, and yes...like men in general, they too have a problem with avoiding personal accountability!!

Hospital Happy Days

Recently I was gloating gleefully about how in my 26 years of gracing planet Earth I have never stayed in hospital. Planet Earth and her friend Fate must have heard my prideful utterances, and it would appear my words tempted dear Fate because here I am writing this entry from a hospital room in an obscure Seoul Medical Center branch somewhere east of Seoul near Ogum station.

Three days of drips, jabs in the arse and plain and simple boredom have yet to cure me of the mere cold I came in for, and the kidney infection I did not come in for (having not been aware I was suffering from any kidney abnormalities or the likes).

I am the token white person in the hospital; I am mightily disgruntled that my cold is still keeping me awake at night; and I am earnestly hoping my hospital fees are covered by my company otherwise I really will be up the creek without so much as a spoon for a paddle (eating untensils aren't provided in this hospital FYI).

I.AM.BORED.

Being the black sheep is the crappiest of the crap!!

I've always been an 'inbetweener'. Never quite fitting into a particular peer group at school; dating the 'cool' boys at university - but never really being in with the cool crowd. That's the way I like it. Doing my own thing is what I value most: I hate feeling like I have to conform to the expectations of others.

Being pigeonholed is something I've fought against for so long...I therefore really struggle to understand why I hate the way I am treat in Korea. Granted, I am a foreigner in a country of xenophobes, but it really irks me that my opinions don't count in the office; that people will not sit near me on the subway; that I am treat like a second rate citizen, or worse - a ghost. I shouldn't care right? I am after all, an inbetweener...so why is it that I feel like a black sheep?

Love of Korean food...

I realise that most of my posts about Korea tend to center around food. I'm actually not a huge food lover to be honest: I eat when I'm hungry...and the affair between Food and I stops there. I don't eat for emotional comfort, I don't eat out of boredom and I am certainly no food addict. However, it would seem that I have a deep interest in Korean food.

Today I went out again for lunch with colleagues. We went to a tongkatsu restaurant. Pork cutlet is yummy and it's one of my favourite meals by far. I always get lunch paid for as I am the youngest in my department and Korean culture dictates that the elders (usually) pay for the meal.

I decided I'd order something randomly from the menu. Oh, the adventure! Random ordering is ALWAYS hit or miss in Korea. My order was erring on the side of miss today - the pork cutlet arrived in a bowl full of boiling onion water. The usual sides were there, but I couldn't figure out why my pork cutlet was swimming in water; and I struggled getting the pieces out the bowl with my chopsticks.

Happily, I can report that the tondkatsu soup was very tasty, as was the German/Canadian diplomat sitting at the other table. Another happy work day!!

I LOVE THIS!!

www.badrak.com

My Achilles' Heel of grammar

Another thing I love about Korea

GALBI. How could I have not mentioned my favourite marinated-meat dish on the below list? I am a happy bunny at present. I have just got back from having lunch with some colleagues. Mr Kwon treated us to galbi...I am most full and content. Oh my happy days:)

10 Things I LOVE About You, Korea...

1. Korean men: even if I am getting over the yellow fever, they are still nice to look at. (The under 30s businessmen in particular.)

2. Kimchi: so much better than sauerkraut.

3. Heated toilet seats: going for a pee has never been so good.

4. Ondol (Korean underfloor heating): in my opinion not as effective as the old radiator, but still nice to walk on in the cold mornings.

5. Korean stationary: cute & colourful.

6. Noraebang (Korean karaoke): words cannot express how much I love banging in the norae.

7. Seoul skyline: I will always remember the mountainous backdrop of this amazing city. Stunning.

8. Seoul subway: the best in the world.

9. Incheon Airport: OK, so the subway may not be the best in the world...but IA was ACTUALLY voted the best airport worldwide.

10. Korean TV. Just messing -- it really sucks.

Winter Wars: S.Korea v UK

My boss and I have this unspoken competition with each other regarding whose country is the best. In the 'snowed-under contest' I think it would be fair to say the UK is winning. Clearly.

ADD Child is BACK!!

I have been living with a Korean family for coming up 4 months now. For the most part, it is a mildly pleasant experience. The apartment is big, warm, and equipped with basic Western mod-cons (oven, drum washing machine, large fridge) -- a rarity in Korea. Constant family disputes aside, the experience would be perfectly bearable were it not for one small, but terribly obnoxious thing...ADD Child. Yes, that's right. The 10-year-old boy I teach is my current bête noire.

For the past week ADD C was shipped off to stay with his grandparents because 'the old lady' has moved back to the country and he no longer has a guardian during the day. The stillness of the house was short-lived, and Peace of Mind and I had only become briefly acquainted by the time he returned home.

I should perhaps mention that the purpose of my staying with the family is purely for the benefit of ADD C. I am there to help him with his English. It seemed like a perfect deal; I teach 4 nights a week in return for free board. I should have realised that something was amiss long ago.

Four months down-the-line I find out that ADD Child has an IQ of 130 and has a tendancy bounce off the wall ALL THE TIME. For example, last night he came into my room to watch a movie and a conversation about the pencil he had thrown at my head a few months ago quickly ensued.

Conversation:

Me: 'Stop kicking me or you can go down stairs'.
ADD C: laughs
Me: 'It's not funny. Be nice'.
ADD C: 'It is funny - like the time I threw a pencil at you, and the lead stuck in your head'.
Me: 'I'll probably die of lead poisoning now...and it left a scar'.
ADD C: looks at my brow and then scratches me on the scar...'Now you will have a bigger scar'.

And so it is. I now have a new wound where the lovely chap took a chunk out of my forehead. I have covered it up with concealer to no avail.

In hindsight of last night's scrap, I can't help but think of two things:

1. If this is what parenthood is like, you can stick it
2. Grad school better be worth it

New Year's Limerick

So the New Year is pretty much here!
I'll be welcoming it in with great cheer...
At a street party in Seoul
Not being crushed is my goal
As is avoiding being drenched by spilt beer!!!


새해 복 많이 보내새요

HAPPY CHRISTMAS FROM SEOUL!!!

This is my last Christmas in Seoul. I am, admittedly, going to be spending it a bit differently from how I imagined I would a bit earlier in the year. I am no longer married. Nevertheless, I am happy to be single, and thrilled to be spending the holiday season with great friends - rather than a fat twat!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

The BEST countryside sign EVER!

Apparently, death by stoning is perfectly acceptable in Teesdale, England. I've made a mental note of this fact, and I will be refraining from making any detours in that area in the future lol.

What's cooking, Good Looking??

The well-loved Korean kimchi jjigae

Ok, so I currently live with a pretty big Korean family: the parents, the son (10), the aunt and the great-aunt (both on the mother's side). Things can get pretty interesting I tell you - especially in the mornings when we're all getting ready to leave the house - talk about STRESSUH. However, I think the most interesting thing about it all is the food Halmony (the great-aunt) cooks me.

Halmony doesn't like cooking for me because it's extra work, and frankly, she says she can't be bothered. The old lady can be a bit cranky, and lately she's been cooking me kimchi jjigae (pickled cabbage stew) and bap (rice) every- well everyday this week, as it happens.

Last night, while walking home, I was desperately willing there to be something other than the good old jjigae waiting for me as I walked through the door. I don't mind the stuff at all; at one point it was my favourite Korean dish, but I am slightly worried that all this pickled food may give me gastric cancer, or... too much gas at least.

As I sat down at the table to eat dinner, I was disappointed to see the dreaded dish yet again, but my disappointment quickly faded as my attention was drawn to something on a plate nearby. Some new food, I thought...At last, some variety!! My excitement quickly turned to bewilderment, as I tried to figure out what this new side dish was.

EUREKA! After a few moments of prodding the food with my chop-sticks, I realised that the dish was none other than a sorry-looking, limp, and BATTERED (as in fish and chips) lettuce leaf! Oh my, how versatile the iceberg lettuce really is. Over the years, I have witnessed the crisp and juicy leaves being used for more than just my mum's prawn cocktail. When thinking of the vegetable that is close to the hearts of many Western housewives, one fond memory often springs to mind.

In my teens I had a good friend, Liz whose parents are from Hong Kong. Liz had a big thing for Ramen noodles, and so did I, so whenever I visited her house, which was a few streets from my family home, she would pull a few packs of noodles out of the cupboard. She would then pull out two bowls for each of us, and a head of lettuce. What ensued always left me dumbfounded. She would line the bowl with lettuce leaves (like a lettuce bowl I guess) and then pour the noodles and some water into the bowl. This left the lettuce soggy and pretty disgusting.

When I saw the limp and frail-looking leaves peering at me from the table last night, I had a flashback of Liz's soggy-lettuce-bowls. Needless to say, I wasn't overly excited to taste the new dish. I was, however, surprised to find that I loved the old lady's fried lettuce...and it's a good job coz I had the same meal again tonight:(

Winter is finally here...

Here's to my last winter in Korea. Here's to leaving the sub-zero temperatures and the bitter Siberian winds I never will acclimatise to. Here's to having to brace just one more season of long, hostile winter chill. Finally, here's to being born British. As I sit at my desk, watching the snow fall, I thank God that I am not one of the millions of North Koreans who will perish this winter without the luxuries I all too often take for granted. I pray that one day soon they will be free, and can't help but think: There but for the grace of God, go I.