Samcheok shenanigans

Last weekend my friend K and I decided to take a trip to Samcheok: a little town on Korea's BEAUTIFUL east coast. Having decided to wing it, I don't think either of us new quite what to expect. We weren't disappointed however! The trip was unforgettable, on oh, so many levels...

Leaving on the Friday evening, we both jumped on the express bus from Seoul and sat crammed on the back seats for the four-hour arduous journey to the coast. On alighting from the bus, we hurriedly looked for a taxi to take us to the motel. We found one, jumped in and directed the driver: 'Moon Motel kajuseyo.' The driver looked perplexed. Mumbling in Korean and gesticulating that we were talking nothing but jibberish, he pointed to the door. Luckily, a lovely ajuma saved the day and directed the driver to our motel. Hurrah for nice randomers!!

On Saturday we rose early, left the hotel and looked for a place to eat breakfast. It was too early. We forgot in our anticipation that this is Korea...the land that doesn't get out of bed until 10am. So, grabbing some snacks, we looked for the bus to Hwanseon Cave, one of the biggest limestone caves in Asia. And they weren't kidding. This thing is a BEAST!

The ride through the countryside to the cave alone is spectacular. The leaves are turning, and the pine trees lining the mountains make the scenery unforgettable; the east coast really is a little bit of Korean heaven. The trek to the cave is nightmarishly steep, but the views make it well worth it. I was in awe. But I was soon to be blown away even more by the magically eery underworld that is, Hwaseon Cave.

Hwanseongul is enormous. Indeed, it could be home to a small town, and maybe once was -in ye olden times! The cave has many chambers, and the chasms between them are linked by tunnel-of-love type bridges lit up by neons. So many cave formations can be seen, and the 'moonscape' terrain of the cave is purely cool. I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT PLACE. Sadly though, I didn't see a bat:(

Leaving the cave, we realised it was raining, pretty bad. But did it dishearten us. Nay, did it heck as like? We were off to our next adventure: Haesindang, also affectionately known as 'Penis Park'. I kid you not. In short, a young virgin drowned in the sea years ago and to appease her, the locals (fishermen who weren't getting a good catch presumably because the girl's ghost was ticked) started erecting (pun not intended) penis sculptures around the coastline. Today, the park is home to hundred of penis-shaped totems. Genius.

This place is truly one of a kind. This is most definitely a good thing. K and I turned all shades of red while watching the oldies 'dick about' (that pun was intended, and in the UK it is not offensive to use that term). There is only so much you can take of that place and the hormonal men in it, even though it is highly amusing.

Having felt we had, had enough of PP, K and I ventured down to the beach. Unfortunately, it was a pebble beach, but the sea was crystal clear and so refreshing. The rugged cliffs and islets are so pretty and that was a perfect end to the day, or it would have been if we hadn't have been offended by a hypocritical jerk entering the park as we were leaving...

10 things I hate about you, Korea

1. Lego hair: Koreans love immaculate, well-quaffed hair and will spend copious amounts of mula on maintaining their luscious tresses. Worryingly, we foreigners could be forgiven for mistaking their lacquered hair for a wig. Indeed, ‘clip-on’ Lego hair has never been a cool look.

2. 80s fashion: Being a child of the 80s, I have paid homage to 80s revival over the years, and my friends and I often dreamt of a 80s comeback. Dream no more. The comeback has arrived – in Korea, at least. Only this is not what I dreamt! Naff Converse boots, tacky mini-skirts, and that bleached denim. Yes, Korean chicas do love fantastic leg-warmers and stilettos, but come on guys…you’re forgetting the best asset of the 80s wardrobe. The shell suit. Oh shell suits, how I miss you…

3. Man bags: Fellas, there is NOTHING metrosexual about looking camp. FULL STOP.

4. Silkworm pupae: A popular snack? I think not.

5. Flemming on the ground: Not only is it vile. It is also a serious health and safety hazard. Use a tissue or simply, swallow it.

6. Konglish: Comedy value aside. I wouldn’t be seen dead having a hot choc in ‘Starbutts’.

7. Korean covers of Western Pop songs: The songs were rubbish the first time around. Enough said.

8. Gingko fruit: One word – VOMIT.

9. High-maintenance fashion: Going to the supermarket dressed in your Sunday-best? Korean casual wear gives a whole new meaning to the phrase: ‘all dressed up and no place to go.'

10. The lack of rubbish bins: I honestly don't know how Seoul manages to keep so clean with so few bins around the city. Quite remarkable really.

Maybe it's just me...

...but I get the distinct feeling that Korean teenage girls have been watching too much Daria.

Get thee hence, ragamuffins!

Every lunch, I like to wander down to the really cool Cheonggyecheon Stream, in the City Hall area of Seoul. This area, I suppose, is Seoul’s Canary Wharf and I LOVE IT! Well, I would if it wasn’t for all the crazies who frequently accost me. I know I sound harsh in saying this, but I really wish they wouldn’t touch me!!

Last winter, I was sat enjoying my lunch by the stream when all of a sudden, a homeless man who was eating a pastry of sorts, grabbed me, yelled in my face - spitting crumbs at me, and consequently almost pushed me in the stream. As I scrambled up to leg it, he started laughing really creepily. There have been a handful of other instances since - which brings me to today’s encounter.

I was just thinking the other day, how I haven’t had any problems out and about in the city as of late. Apparently, I spoke too soon. I think today’s experience may have scarred me for life – seriously. I was cheerfully minding my own business when out of nowhere…NOWHERE, a smelly tramp man flew into my path, holding a dog that looked to be dead. I tried to move to the left, then to the right just to be free of him, and the poor thing in his arms that I thought he might throw at me. My efforts were to no avail. The guy pretty much cornered me. He screamed. I screamed (ish). And no one intervened. I was pretty much screwed. Thank heavens for 7-Elevens, and BOOO all you smelly ragamuffins: PLEASE, JUST LET ME BE!

A Korean Love Affair

So, after wanting to do a blog since I arrived in this kimchi-loving country, I finally feel it's the perfect time to do so, as I only have five months left! Also, I figured after two years of Korean drama, and I mean D.R.A.M.A - two jobs, six homes, several boyfriends (no, I'm not easy), a marriage, and a divorce *sigh* - I have a few things to blog about.

Many of you who know me, probably have gathered that I have a penchant for jumping into things with little thought and blind optimism. Many would probably call me stupid; many have. I, on the other hand, prefer to think of myself as an intrepid, free-spirit, who loves life and wants to get the most out of it. Most importantly, I try not to take myself too seriously, and find that I have a child-like tendency to see the funny side of well, pretty much everything!

Although today, I am not seeing the funny side of being back at work with a bunch of disgruntled, middle-aged, Korean men. I have worked in this office for over 20 months and have yet to adjust to chaebol etiquette. My colleagues gave up on me as soon as they realised the office newbie was a mere slip of a lass, who speaks little Korean, and doesn't drink.

You see in Korea, drinking is absolutely imperative if you wish to attain social success, and I often happen upon many a happily-sloshed businessman, staggering aimlessly around Seoul at 4pm in the afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Brit and as many will know - us Brits drink like fish; the women can easily drink the men under the table. Having said that, I do find it sad that soju - an alcholic drink cheaper than milk, that smells uncannily like paint stripper - is the national beverage of such a fantastic country. Surely there is more to corporate Korea than soju, skinny cigs and STERESSUH!

Anyway, mooooooving on. We just had Chuseok. Now, Chuseok is a lovely Korean harvest-type festival whereby a mass exodus of families leave Seoul, venturing to ancestral homes to perform ancestral worship and partake in huge feasts. At present, I am living with a really nice Korean family, but it is TOUGH being in someone's space - especially when that 'someone' is not family or friends. It kinda goes without saying, that I enjoyed the freedom at the weekend. Although I missed Granny Grills - the old lady housekeeper, who has gold teef and treats me like a mute because my Korean SUCKS! I hope she's back tonight...